Day 5: Well baby, most of today was full of nothingness, again. I woke up late, again. I watched stupid TV, again. I ate, again [except this time my mom didn’t spill anything on me], and I sat. Again. I spent most of the day itself even wondering if I was going to that party or not since pretty much everyone decided that they didn’t want to go. The party started at 6 and it was 7 before my mom and I decided we would get ready and stop by for a while. Of course we didn’t end up even leaving my house until 10! But we knew at least the adults would still be out on the patio drinking and talking late, cause that’s just how us Mexicans do things around here :)And we were absolutely right. We got to my aunt’s house and sure enough, there were all the adults still singings, drinking and talking. You know what’s funny? When Mexican people talk American politics. Seriously. They kept asking my mom and I who we thought would win the election, Obama or McCain. Well hell, that’s never been my cup of tea, but I was just interested to hear what all they had to say about it themselves. Later our conversations varied between sex talks and the English language. It was good times, let me tell ya!
One thing that really sucked were my nerves though. I hadn’t smoked in 5 days and I didn’t even notice how bad I had it when my mother and I became the only two in the group not smoking. My hands became tense as I couldn’t stop cracking my knuckles and squeezing my hands and fingers. My legs wouldn’t stay still. It was sad but my cravings had hit the roof. But I guess my cousin Isa saw how I kept staring at her, cigarette in one hand and a Jack & Coke in the other. She took me to the back of the house and lit up her last one to share between the two of us. At the end of the night after she had bought a new pack, she slipped me a few to take home. I was so happy and thankful, but when I got home I almost felt like crap. How is it possible that I have become so bad? I need to stop this; it’s just not good…I fell asleep to the thought of how pathetic I felt. It was about 4 a.m.
Day 6: Damn that rooster. It started yelling at me around 6 this morning. My dad called at 10 and woke me up again, well, more like the yelling I heard going down on my mother’s behalf. Money is becoming a real bitch to us lately. But of course, you know me and my lazy ass. I fell back asleep until my mom woke me up to tell me my cousin Paco was in the emergency room. He has appendicitis. We rushed over to the hospital while he was in surgery. So I was there for a good while before coming back home. I spent the rest of the night just sitting, watching TV and talking with Estefany. This seems to be a new routine the last couple of days. Doing nothing is becoming a sad habit during the day.
My mom came home a little while ago to change. I guess she decided to stay the night in the hospital while my cousin’s wife went home to rest. So I get to stay the night alone at home tonight. Not gonna lie, I’m not so upset about that, lol. A night away from my mother is always a joy. But now I sit here alone. It’s only 11 p.m. and I just don’t know what to do with myself. I’m watching Daredevil…and I'm not impressed. I never saw it before and I’m thinking I won’t stick around to see the end.
I found out earlier that a friend of mine just got engaged. It’s something completely unexpected; I mean she just turned 18! And I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend! Apparently it was a secret romance. Her parents are really strict and would never have allowed a boy in her life. I guess they were together for almost two years before her parents caught on. So he asked her to marry him, so that her parents could see just how in love and serious he was about her. It’s so romantic! Now that’s a good story for a movie, but I guess it’s been done before somewhere around. But it really got me thinking so much about you. That’s actually what Estefany and I spent most of the night talking about. You. Of course we had talked before, but I think it really clicked for her tonight just how in love and serious I am about you. She asked when the wedding was, haha. I told her we’d let her know in a few years :)
But all that talk made me miss you so much more than I already did. My heart feels like it’s burning right now. I can’t stand being away from you. But we don’t have too much longer. Only 29 days left baby! God I can’t wait.
Now I don't know if you'll actually be able to see this video on your phone or not, but even if you can't, it's something you might enjoy when you can get to a real computer. It's absolutely stupid and I had no clue Estefany was recording this, but I thought it might make you smile. At my expense, of course :)
I Love You with all of my heart, baby. You are my everything. Never forget <3
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