A Day Without Your Sunshine.

Day 13//23 Days Left: My aunt killed the rooster yesterday. There were no 5 a.m. wake up calls today, just the sounds of people snoring and phones ringing off the hook. Today was by far the busiest day I’ve had here, which is a really nice change considering that I have hardly seen any light outside my room since Wednesday night [with the exception of Friday morning in which I got out for breakfast but was back in my cave by noon].

We got a call from my dad today. Lee got home last night, so him and Cheyenne are staying with my dad for now. It was good hearing their voices. For some reason, this year I’ve found myself treasuring any familiarity from my home away from here a lot more than in past years. They were on their way to go see The Dark Knight, and I’m insanely jealous. That was about 9:30.

Immediately after, I found myself jumping into an ice cold shower. Colder than usual, seeing as to how it was a very fresh and cool morning. My family from San Luis was said to be on their way, so I had to start getting ready right away. The church service wasn’t until 2 that afternoon, but with a herd of people I knew would be hogging the bathroom and mirrors, I figured it would be smart to get ready before they arrived. No one even ended up getting here until about noon. But after that, it was a madhouse here; crazy family members running everywhere.

We ended up being late to the mass service, go figure. It was nice though. My mom made me go up to the front and play photographer. Not that I minded. I like that role. After that we all stampeded over to the party place [kinda like a Discovery Zone play place for kids, if you hopefully even know what DZ is, lol] and had a grand ole’ time. Ya know, little kids running around screaming in your face, little girls giving you sticky lollipops that they decided they didn’t want to finish, and huge piñata that’s just waiting to be smashed to pieces. It was nice, but not too fun for someone like me with no one to talk to and being way too old to play with all the fun toys. I actually didn’t have much fun at all. Except that I got a chance to beat that piñata like it was an ex boyfriend I found cheating on me :)

We left the place about 7 and all came back to my house. Everyone gathered their chairs and made a sort of circle in the patio. Kinda made me feel like I was in AA or something though, lol. But sitting there staring is kinda what made my night so horrible. It was the fact that everyone there was talking to one another, but I somehow ended up being the only person with nothing to say.

Family is a funny thing. I have so much of them, it’s pretty ridiculous. I’ve spent my whole life adoring these people and being adored by them in return. Mexico is a place I’ve never really felt that uncomfortable being in. Until one day, it just kinda hits. Right now, I have absolutely no one that I fit in with. I’ve always felt an age gap between me and everyone else. I mean all of my cousins are all pretty much over the age of 27. And all of their kids are no older than 16 [but then again, that’s only 2 of them, Giselle and Estefany. Everyone else is under like, 12]. My favorite cousin Gianni is 21, and we’ve always gotten along great. But problem with that is that he lives far away and pretty much every time he does come around now, he ends up leaving to go out and have fun [something my mom is obviously terrified of my having]. Other than them, I really have no one else.

I have a herd of family sitting outside on the patio right now, sadly lacking the only three people I had to talk to. I sat there for about half an hour tuning into every groups conversations, but in the end, I was still just an outsider. I have absolutely nothing that I can input. The older adults are sitting at one side talking about things that I don’t understand whatsoever. My cousins are talking’s about their careers, kids and pregnancy [one of my cousins is pregnant, all other females were giving her advice and telling her how beautiful it is to be pregnant]. The only ones left after that were little kids running around playing tag, and…I have never felt so alone here in my entire life. I have never felt that feeling of not belonging with my family before. Hell, half my cousins forget that I’m their cousin! They all think that I am a niece because of my age. It makes me feel ridiculous. And suddenly with that feeling of such loneliness, I kinda just broke down.

I had to go hide out in the bathroom for a while because I had nowhere else to run. I didn’t know where to go that my mom wouldn’t find me and yell because I wasn’t spending time with the family, but I couldn’t sit in between them all anymore just staring and not saying a word. It was driving me crazy. The only thing I could think of at that moment was just how much I wanted to come home to you. Come home to someone I knew loved me and that I knew I belonged with. I wanted more than ever to be with you.

I ended up going into the kitchen and sat. I ate an entire role of Ritz crackers alone in my boredom. After the kids and older ones started coming in and filling up the rooms, and I could no longer be on the computer to write you, I crawled into bed and tried falling asleep. I must say, it’s the earliest I think I have ever tried sleeping while here. It was about 1:30, and I still had my cousins sitting outside chatting up a storm of their worlds that I, apparently, “wouldn’t understand”. I think I fell asleep to the sounds of their cackles.

So that, my love, was my day. Should have been one of the best, ended up being one of the worst. I just hope you're having better luck than I am, lol. I miss you so much baby. I love you with all of my heart.

A Flood of Change.

Day 8: I woke up really late again today, go figure. I spent all night looking at stupid things on YouTube last night, lol. As soon as I woke up I hopped in the shower and got ready for the day. Estefany has a wedding to go to on Saturday and wanted to get her nails done. So I just went with her to get out. The movie theater was right across the street, so we stopped and went inside for a bit. They have a little cafe place so we decided to split a nice cold frappuccino and Oreo cheesecake [if you haven't figured it out yet, that's pretty much what we ALWAYS eat when we go out]. I'm gonna get fat off of all that, haha. It was dark already and we still had to walk home, so we left soon after. Thankfully it's a short walk, maybe 10 minutes.

My cousin's wife Miriel just got home from Mexico City today. She's the one that usually takes me out at night, so I was pretty excited when I saw her. Right after we got home, she asked us to run some errands with her. We went to the grocery store to buy some stuff for the pizza place. Then later her and my cousin asked me to go with them to drop of the cook at her house.

It was a nice little drive. Chago, my cousin, has a convertible Mustang, so we drove with the top down. It feels really good out tonight. I love that feeling of the wind blowing threw my hair.

After dropping the lady off, we just kinda cruised around town. There was a major flood here just 2 weeks ago. They took me around and showed me all of the places that were heavily flooded, and the areas that were still slightly underwater. It's really bad. I had heard all about it, but I had no idea. Later I saw videos on YouTube of the floods here. There were building that all you could see was the roof. There were people walking around in it with their pants hiked all the way up, water coming up to their thighs. The river still looks ridiculous. Thankfully where our house is wasn't that bad. The only place that had high water around here was a little bit down the street here. So now I'm home, bored lol. But at least I had a more eventful day. I love days like these.

My mom told me that a hurricane could possibly hit us here soon. I know I should probably not be excited about that possibility, but for some reason I am! I don't know why, haha. Is that bad?? I think that's bad! I guess its just because I kinda like storms, especially when I'm with the girls. They get all freaked out and we all end up having a sleepover at one of our houses haha. Juvenile maybe, but it's fun. Plus I've never been in one. I guess I just like the concept of severe weather approaching, haha, i don't know. We'll see what happens.

I heard my uncle and mom talking about some changes they were going to do to our house. Can't say I'm too happy about it all. During this last year, our kitchen outside kinda started falling apart, so they have moved the kitchen into the actual house. Its actually really weird to me, lol. But now they are talking about tearing down the old kitchen! I mean I guess it's pointless to have it there now, but I just can't imagine it not being there! I don't want to think about it. I have so many memories there...waking up and eating breakfast with my grandmother. Her teaching me how to make tortillas and helping her cook [whatever I could do, lol]. I just don't want to see it get torn down. It's so sad. And then they also decided to cut down the guava tree outside my window. Now I hate guava's, but it's so nice having it there! I don't want change, lol. There's already been more than I'd like in the last few years and this is just too much for me. I love my house...I'm sad that you won't get to see everything that I grew up with here...

Well love, I'm glad you are resting. I hate thinking about the bad days that you have been having and I'm praying that they get better for you. I don't like hearing about your frustrations there! I miss you so damn much baby. I can't WAIT until I come home to you.

I love you so much baby!!

Boredom to Perfection.

Day 7: I didn't get to bed till 6 a.m. this morning. I guess I just really enjoyed being home alone. Either that or it just kinda freaks me out to fall asleep in this house alone. I've never stayed here alone. It's kinda weird and spooky. I'm not too sure I enjoy it that much now that I think of it, so I'll go with #2. I'm rabbling already...

I woke up really late today. I don't even know what time my mom got home this morning, but she left again before I woke. I sat in my room most of the day. It was 6 p.m. before I knew it and I hadn't even gone outside yet. Surprisingly no one came around to see if I was even alive in here. I decided to get ready for no real reason. I thought my friend Jorge would stop by to see Estefany and I, but he never did...not that it really bothered me honestly, lol.

Estefany and I spent about 3 hours sitting on the patio talking [really, what else is new]. I finally saw my mom around 9, but she turned around and left again about 10. I guess she felt the need to stay at the hospital again tonight. But I know it's the last of my solitude. Paco is being released from the hospital tomorrow. I locked myself in my room again around 11, only about 5 hours after I had unlocked it in the first place. I feel pathetic right now. Being in beautiful Mexico and not doing anything different than what I normally do back home. This is lame...

I spent 3 hours watching videos of a girl applying makeup.

...I'm serious.

It's 4:20 a.m., all I can do is think about being home with you. I love you so damn much, it kills me. I tried sleeping earlier, but my mind was racing WAYY too much. Reading about your bad day just really made me want to fly up there, kidnap you and go home to cuddle with you in bed. I'm so sick of not being able hug you, not being able to see you...hell, not being able to hear you. All I want to do is rest my head against your chest and feel your warmth against my body. I miss you so bad, baby. Why is this time going by so slowly...

Fiestas and Siestas.

Day 5: Well baby, most of today was full of nothingness, again. I woke up late, again. I watched stupid TV, again. I ate, again [except this time my mom didn’t spill anything on me], and I sat. Again. I spent most of the day itself even wondering if I was going to that party or not since pretty much everyone decided that they didn’t want to go. The party started at 6 and it was 7 before my mom and I decided we would get ready and stop by for a while. Of course we didn’t end up even leaving my house until 10! But we knew at least the adults would still be out on the patio drinking and talking late, cause that’s just how us Mexicans do things around here :)

And we were absolutely right. We got to my aunt’s house and sure enough, there were all the adults still singings, drinking and talking. You know what’s funny? When Mexican people talk American politics. Seriously. They kept asking my mom and I who we thought would win the election, Obama or McCain. Well hell, that’s never been my cup of tea, but I was just interested to hear what all they had to say about it themselves. Later our conversations varied between sex talks and the English language. It was good times, let me tell ya!

One thing that really sucked were my nerves though. I hadn’t smoked in 5 days and I didn’t even notice how bad I had it when my mother and I became the only two in the group not smoking. My hands became tense as I couldn’t stop cracking my knuckles and squeezing my hands and fingers. My legs wouldn’t stay still. It was sad but my cravings had hit the roof. But I guess my cousin Isa saw how I kept staring at her, cigarette in one hand and a Jack & Coke in the other. She took me to the back of the house and lit up her last one to share between the two of us. At the end of the night after she had bought a new pack, she slipped me a few to take home. I was so happy and thankful, but when I got home I almost felt like crap. How is it possible that I have become so bad? I need to stop this; it’s just not good…I fell asleep to the thought of how pathetic I felt. It was about 4 a.m.

Day 6: Damn that rooster. It started yelling at me around 6 this morning. My dad called at 10 and woke me up again, well, more like the yelling I heard going down on my mother’s behalf. Money is becoming a real bitch to us lately. But of course, you know me and my lazy ass. I fell back asleep until my mom woke me up to tell me my cousin Paco was in the emergency room. He has appendicitis. We rushed over to the hospital while he was in surgery. So I was there for a good while before coming back home. I spent the rest of the night just sitting, watching TV and talking with Estefany. This seems to be a new routine the last couple of days. Doing nothing is becoming a sad habit during the day.

My mom came home a little while ago to change. I guess she decided to stay the night in the hospital while my cousin’s wife went home to rest. So I get to stay the night alone at home tonight. Not gonna lie, I’m not so upset about that, lol. A night away from my mother is always a joy. But now I sit here alone. It’s only 11 p.m. and I just don’t know what to do with myself. I’m watching Daredevil…and I'm not impressed. I never saw it before and I’m thinking I won’t stick around to see the end.

I found out earlier that a friend of mine just got engaged. It’s something completely unexpected; I mean she just turned 18! And I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend! Apparently it was a secret romance. Her parents are really strict and would never have allowed a boy in her life. I guess they were together for almost two years before her parents caught on. So he asked her to marry him, so that her parents could see just how in love and serious he was about her. It’s so romantic! Now that’s a good story for a movie, but I guess it’s been done before somewhere around. But it really got me thinking so much about you. That’s actually what Estefany and I spent most of the night talking about. You. Of course we had talked before, but I think it really clicked for her tonight just how in love and serious I am about you. She asked when the wedding was, haha. I told her we’d let her know in a few years :)

But all that talk made me miss you so much more than I already did. My heart feels like it’s burning right now. I can’t stand being away from you. But we don’t have too much longer. Only 29 days left baby! God I can’t wait.




Now I don't know if you'll actually be able to see this video on your phone or not, but even if you can't, it's something you might enjoy when you can get to a real computer. It's absolutely stupid and I had no clue Estefany was recording this, but I thought it might make you smile. At my expense, of course :)

I Love You with all of my heart, baby. You are my everything. Never forget <3

Take Me Away.

Day 4: Now let me tell you baby, today was an absolute bore of a day, so this post is just not going to be too exciting lol. I woke up fairly late, which I don't like doing here because everyone calls me lazy. Which I know is completely true, but they just don't have to rub it in! After waking up, I spent spent about three hours watching TV [Batman Returns and half of Batman Forever]. Then i got ready for nothing, just to do something. I ate, in which my mom decided it would be cool to spill extremely hot soup on my bare legs. After getting up, I sat on the computer looking at pictures with the girls, then we got up to talk to some family. After about 45 minutes of that, my cousin decided she needed to go to the pharmacy, so we did that and happened to see a girl faint in front of us. So we saw the police and ambulance that came to attend to that. And now I'm home. Sitting, bored again. And that's it! That was my day.

So hopefully you have had a much better than I, baby :)

But one thing that has been totally bothering me today is the fact that The Dark Knight came out today and I was not there to see the midnight show. I'm pretty peeved actually, lol. I am pretty much going crazy not being able to see it yet! I actually thought that it wasn't playing here yet, but luckily I was wrong and it is at the theaters here already. But I still probably won't get to see it until next Wednesday for our weekly movie outings. Are you going to get to see it baby?

I hope you can sleep tonight sweetie. I don't like knowing that you haven't been resting. It's not good, especially because you have a very rough job with hikes and watching kids and whatnot. But I am really glad that you were able to sleep last night. I was so excited I got to talk to you [kinda] last night. I had the biggest smile on my face knowing that in a way were able to kinda chat with each other lol. I miss you so damn much sweetheart...

Well, I think I am going to turn on the TV and see what I can find to watch. I've run out of things to say that doesn't involve I love yous and I miss you like crazies :) But you know that I absolutely do with all of my heart and I just can't wait to see you baby.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!

Charlie's New Angels.

Day 3: I had the most amazing dream last night baby. A wedding, in my cathedral. It was so beautiful. I can recall looking at your face. You looked so happy. I don’t remember exactly where it left off, but I was forced to wake up by my lovely sixteen year old cousin Estefany jumping on top of me. Safe to say I was not too happy she woke me from such a wonderful dream. It was a little past eleven and she and my other cousin, Giselle, wanted to go downtown and do some shopping. So I quickly got ready and we hoped in a cab to get us there. After doing all the shopping they wanted to do, we went into a café type place that really reminds me of IHOP. It’s somewhere we go every time I come so we can sip on a chocolate frappuccino, gossip and enjoy the air conditioning. Today we added on to the fattiness by adding Oreo Cheesecake to split.

We made a few stops on our way walking home. The girls wanted to say hi to some friends. By this time it was scorching outside and I hadn’t actually eaten any real food, so I didn’t feel so great. When we finally got home, I lied down in the air and just relaxed on the computer until a few of the little kids came around. We spent an hour dancing and singing to songs I had on my iTunes.

About six, Giselle and Estefany came to get me so we could go swimming. Giselle and her family are members of the country club here. She usually invites Estefany and I to come with her every time I come here. Walking into that place is like walking through a whole new town. It’s funny how you can find the rich trophy wives everywhere here; laying by the pool, working out, playing tennis. Even in a city where you’d think you wouldn’t see these kinds of people, you’d be surprised. Giselle walks into this club like she owns it. She fits in just fine with the rich kids here. I walk in like I don’t give a shit, which happens to somewhat be my attitude back home when I walk around Edmond. I’m way too used to being the poor kid surrounded by the rich. But Estefany has this sad look of not belonging. This isn’t here scene. Although she’s the most outgoing of the three, being at this country club can really sink her. I got a few looks from some teen girls walking past me with their preppy tennis outfits and rackets, don’t really know what was up their asses.

So you know how I told you about having so much family that I usually meet a few new ones every year? Well it’s day 3 and I met the first for this year. His name is Memo, one of my aunt’s grandkids. He looks like he’s 14 but apparently older, and such the wannabe skater type. He seems like a little shit too, haha. Not the most pleasant kid. But he did mention something that kinda made me smile. He called the girls and I "Charlie's Angels" because of how close we are. Even after being so completely different from each other, Giselle, Estefany and I are like the best of friends down here. He along with some friends labeled all three of us. I'm the Beauty, Estefany is the Charm, and Giselle is the Brain. Funny, but I guess it kinda suits well enough. But you know how I feel about being called a Beauty, so you can only imagine how I reacted to that, haha.

A few hours later we were forced out of the pool thanks to the rain splashing down on the water surrounding us. We had a few scares driving home as the lightning flashes seemed so close. I had to run back home in the rain from Giselle’s house. Luckily she only lives down the street and we were still wet from the pool. So now I sit on my bed, bored as hell, wishing that you could be here. I just got up from the table with my mom and aunt. They kept asking questions about you and it started getting me kinda down. I miss you so damn much. It’s starting to hurt just talking about you.

Well baby, there is a gecko crawling around on my wall, so I should probably try getting it out of here, lol. I love you with all of my heart and I hope you are doing okay. I miss you so much baby. Write me soon <3

I LOVE YOU JEREMIAH, forever and always.

A Welcome Home.

Baby, I miss you so much. It really does hurt being so far away from you. I hope you’re doing okay. But at least we know that I can get on the computer pretty much anytime I’m not doing anything. So in saying that, I will try to give you details on what I’m doing around here. And so we begin:

Day 1: This day is always a drag. The long hours we have to travel are so tiring. All that I am able to do is think of you. Crossing the border has never been so hard. I usually spend this time with my mother doing a sort of Mexican Hat Dance with our feet in excitement of finally arriving. But this year, the gates greeted me in tears. It’s just not the same. As I looked around and the familiarity of the town, all I could think of was how much I would give for you to be sitting next to me. I figured we would sit at that bus station for hours waiting for our last bus to take us home. We ended up leaving only 15 minutes after; a 3:45 bus which would get us home by midnight. While filed in line to board the bus, I saw something I never thought I would see in Mexico. There were Amish people boarding a bus next to us. I really couldn’t believe it. The long hot dresses and bonnets on the girls and straw hats on the men was such a sight!

I slept most of the ride. They played four movies on the bus. I was only awake for one; The Girl With The Pearl Earrings. I couldn’t help but tear up as I looked up at the stars outside my window. Eventually I was able to sleep for the last hour of the drive. When we finally arrived, I actually felt my first bit of excitement as I walked off the bus. I was home again, and it kinda felt good. As I rode the taxi to my house, I was like a wide eyed little girl. The best part of the trip is finally arriving to the city I call home for a month. I love looking at each building and being able to think of one memory I have from it. As my mom told the taxi driver where to go, he knew exactly where we were headed as he named off all of my aunts and uncles. He knew my family.

Finally as we pulled up my house, I smiled for the first real time all day. I was home, or what would be my home for the next month. After getting all of our luggage inside, we heard the voice of my uncle coming toward us. We spent the next 2 hours talking with my aunt and uncle about everything that has happened over the last year before we went to bed. The excitement of being back went away as soon as my head hit the pillow. The only thing I would think of was what and how you were doing. If you were able to sleep or if you were lying in bed thinking as I was doing. I miss you so much.

Day 2: I woke up to the sound of the rooster this morning. Usually the girls would have been in my room waiting for me to wake up, but this time I had beaten them. I walked outside and was attacked by my aunt’s rooster. Seriously. I felt like that was the most classic welcoming I had ever received lol. As the day went by, my room was filled with family coming in and out of my house to say Hello. The kids screaming around me frustrated me quicker than it usually does. I just don’t have the patience for them anymore. But it was probably because of the fact they interrupted me every time I tried talking about you with the girls. Most of my aunts tried getting all the gossip about you out of me. I don’t know how many times I’ve shown my pictures from formal with you and I.

Around 5 o’clock, I started getting ready for the movies. Just FYI, going to the movies here is like a big deal. All the young people get all prettied up to go and see everyone. It’s something we do every Wednesday night. We saw Get Smart, for me it was the second time around. But I will probably be seeing repeat movies all the time since most of the movies are once that have been out for a long time in the U.S. or I have seen already. It was fun arriving there. I saw many people that I knew, all friends of the girls. We spent about 20 minutes outside with friends catching up about what all I have missed in the last year, and then another 30 minutes after the movie meeting new people and taking pictures. I tell you, this is the highlight of the week for most people.

And so now I’m back home sitting in my newly air conditioned room writing you, wishing so badly that you were here lying in my lap. Wishing that instead of having to write down the details of my day, you could have been witnessing all of it for yourself. I can’t wait to come back to you, baby. I can’t help but wonder if you are okay, how you’re holding up. Just do me a favor and try to have a bit of fun. It would make me feel so much better. I love you so much, baby.

Well I think that is good for today. I have pretty much written you an essay by now. I can’t wait to hear from you, sweetie. I hope you’ve had a good day. I miss you more than ever. I love you, baby!

P.S. The picture I put up on this post is one of my favorite plazas in San Luis; Plaza de San Francisco. This city isn't where my house is, but it's my absolute favorite place to go, about 3 hours away where my aunt and cousin live. I go there every year, and hopefully will be headed there in two weeks. It's so beautiful there. I can't wait for you to see it one day :)

The Great Escape.

Or so it used to be...

Leaving for Mexico is something I have looked forward to for months, literally probably since I got back last year. I love going there so much, but this year I'm just not ready to leave. I am, but I'm not if that makes any sense. I am just going to miss you so damn much. Not being able to hear your voice at all for a month is going to be such torture. Not being able to text you whenever possible will be just as painful. My only hope of communication is the wonderful internet, and even then my time is limited. The more I think about it, the more I panic. I don't want to have to spend my month like this. It's going to be so hard baby...I miss you so much.

But then again, I know I will have an okay time once I get there. I always do. Only this time, I won't be able to not think of being home, I wouldn't want to. I know I will have sweet sweet dreams every night of being back home in your arms. I can't wait until my dreams can once again be my beautiful reality.

I too am so glad that we worked everything out today, baby. I'm so sorry it even happened. Never forget that you are the love of my life. You are the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, no matter what. I would do anything for you, baby.

Have you noticed that the only times we have argued or anything has been while one of us is gone?? I think the main reason we have had any discussions has been because we are both tense about being so far away from each other. It sucks lol. I'm sure once we both come things things will be a bit different in that way. I certainly hope so at least! :)

Well baby, I'm thinking you fell asleep already for the night, which is good for you. You really need rest! But I'm sad I won't get to hear your soothing voice much more. I don't feel ready to leave yet...

But I guess I will try to get some sleep before the long day. I miss you so so much, sweetheart. I can't wait to hear from you in the morning. Can you believe the next time I write in this, I will be in Mexico?! It doesn't feel like it to me. It almost just doesn't feel right. Anyway, enough of that. I love you with everything I have, baby. I'll miss you twice as much as before. Remember to try and have some fun over there, especially now that you can't just jump on a plane and come home to me :p

I LOVE YOU JEREMIAH!
Forever and Always <3

Me? A Prankster?

BABY I MISS YOU!!!!

So i'm pretty sure the only real important things that I have to say to you how much I love you and can't live without you. But since I spend pretty much all day doing that through text, I'm gonna do something different on here today!

But you know I'll get all lovey dovey on you eventually, because I just can't myself..the feelings are just that intense, lol!

ANYWAY!! So for the last two nights, I've been going to bed real late because I've been captivated by this fun little thing I was invited to join through Facebook. It's a site called the Urban Pranksters Network. It's like a group of people that do really wild things in public to cause scenes. Like, there's one thing they did in Grand Central Station in New York where a bunch of people all froze in place for 5 minutes simultaneously! It looks so cool! Like they just...froze, like human statues. There were people not involved just looking at this like, wtf lol. And the picture I put above is from something they did on a subway called the Human Mirror. They took a bunch of identical twins, sat them across from each other and had them do the exact same things to kinda freak some people out! It's pretty cool to watch lol!

But yeah, I guess there's some people trying to form something here in Oklahoma haha. Probably wouldn't do it, but I made a page on there anyway. I just really wanted the title of being an "Agent", haha. I'm Agent Vesper Dreadlow ;)

Anyway, there's a lot of different "missions" as they call it. You should check it out sometime, it's really cool!!

Mission Page
My Page

Okay, so I can't help myself...I LOVE YOU BABY!!! With all of my heart. I can't wait to be back in your arms. I miss you and I will write you again later!

The First Of Many To Come...

So first off, I stole the last sentence you wrote in your first post because I thought it was absolutely amazing and it made me feel so great. And second, I'm pretty much in tears after reading what you had to say...

I love you so much it hurts. I hate the separation so much, but I just try thinking about the future..the beautiful future that we have together. I can't wait until you come home and we can spend all the time we can together. I mean, your arm is going to hurt from me squeezing on you so tight, seriously!

Saying goodbye to you the second time was so damn hard. It was heartbreaking the first time, but this was something else. I couldn't be happier that you came to see me though sweetie. Even for 48 hours, it was the best I have felt since you first left. Thank you so much.

Baby please, I want you to trust me when I say I am not going anywhere! I want to with you, and only you. What we have means more to me than anything else. I would do anything for us, for you. I'm not letting you go. That I promise you.

Well baby, it's time for me to head back to work, but I love you with all of my heart and soul. You are my Prince Charming, never forget that :)

I LOVE AND MISS YOU TO DEATH!!!